I leave work at 5:00 and then I have an hour of lag time before I have to be at karate. You have to understand that karate is very difficult for me to begin with for numerous reasons, so when something comes up or I do not feel well, talking myself out of going would not be a difficult thing to accomplish. What would be hard is talking myself into going when circumstances are not perfect. Well this was the situation yesterday. I was tired. I was not feeling quite well. I was maybe a bit downtrodden because of things I am dealing with in life. I simply wanted to go home, take a bath to get warm as I was aching through to my bones, and the last thing I wanted was to have to once again get out in the cold, then go in the bathroom and change clothes to begin karate.
I sat outside of the karate studio in my vehicle and literally spoke to myself out loud. I kept saying over and over, “You can do this. Just get up and go in. It will be fine and you will feel better because of it”. This self-talk is nothing new to me as I do it all the time, but self-talk of an encouraging nature is pretty new. Sure, I have done it a bit here and there over the years, but I am making a conscious effort now to do it routinely for numerous reasons. Believe me when I say it does make a difference. There is life to the words we speak. We can either speak negative into our lives or we can choose to speak positive. The same is true of our thought life ... we can think positive things or we can think negative things. We do have control over the things we allow into our minds. I am focusing on speaking more positive this year in an effort to overcome. Last night was a sure fire victory in this category!!! Praise God!
As you can assume by now, I did attend karate. I mentally overcame my flesh and pushed through. It took EVERYTHING I had mentally and physically to do it, but once I was in there I was glad. Not overly excited, but peaceful. Throughout the course of the night, Master pushed us to our limits as always. You leave there feeling invigorated and so alive. Tonight was no different in that area, but God blessed me in a much more profound way also.
As most of you are aware of by now, I have written a book about a dark time in my life. I had hoped to have it published and out there over a year ago, but I hit some roadblocks I have not personally been able to overcome. Feeling very frustrated and discouraged at times, I finally just put it in God’s hands where it should have been all the time. We mortals have to go around the same mountains so many times to realize the outcome is only the same before we finally surrender and give it to the One who can bless it if it is His will for us. I am no different! Putting it in God’s hands has been a bit trying for me also because He has not worked as quickly as I thought He should have. Hence, I stepped up my praying efforts in this regard. I began questioning so many things I thought He shared with me long ago. Foolish acts I realize, but again I am only a mere mortal. What other excuse could I use?
Master was speaking to us last night about goals and goal setting. In the course of this conversation, he asked me what was a goal I had. I, of course, responded, “Getting my book published”. No sooner had I spoken this when things changed for me. Master responded with, “Great, I can help you with that goal. Friend me on Facebook and I am going to hook you up with a lady who does just that. She is a wonderful person and you will really like her”. Well, my friend, you could have cut all the lights out in the room and my face would have been enough light to eluminate the entire building. Later my sister would tell me that she wanted to celebrate with me at that moment, but we were in karate and expected to maintain a level of respectibility. I, too, was having difficulty with not shouting and singing hallelujah right then and there. I was praising God in my mind as loud as you can imagine, and when I finally reached my vehicle, I let it out.
Then as I sat there I thought how I came so close to missing this miracle. That is right ... I said ‘miracle’ because that is exactly what this is for me. As I pondered how I tried so hard to talk myself out of NOT going to karate, I could feel this sick feeling arising in the pit of my gut. I had to ask myself, “How many other blessings have you lost because you did not perservere past circumstances, fleshly moanings, or whatever?” I do not even want to know the answer to that question. But, my friend, I can tell you this .. if at all possible, I will not miss any future blessings because perserverance is at the top of my list during this upcoming 2015!!! I pray the same for you.