My friend today is burying her 29 year old son because he chose to die than live in a world such as ours. A world that has become all about being better than everyone … about bullying … about treating those who want more than anything to be loved with indifference and cruelty … about social status! A world where our government is taking and taking, only to enhance their own well being. A world where parents are dying every day at the hands of their own children … where parents are allowing their children to do and say whatever pleases them because they love them too much to discipline them … where parents teach their children how to be a real man, one who does not cry and is tough … where parents teach their children to physically defend themselves instead of turning the other cheek! What will it take, People, for us to realize what is happening around us … before we come to understand that we are our children’s parents and not their best friends. When will we start to love those who seem less than loveable … teach our children that we will not accept disrespect on any level … show our children that there are consequences to their wrong choices! When will we as parents take responsibility for raising our children and not relying on the teachers and the churches? When will young boys, grown men as far as that goes, realize that having sex is about more than pleasure … that it is about responsibility … it is about supporting that mistake they made by being there to watch that mistake grow and to support it financially? When will these young girls realize that you don’t have to lay down beside someone to feel loved … that the baby they so badly want so they can have someone to love is not the answer?
Wake up, People! Is this the best you have to offer your children … ignorance … lack of responsibility … do what you have to in order to get ahead … beat them before they beat you? What is more important in life … that nice car … that big house … designer clothes … that big paycheck OR lacking the material things in life in order to give your child what is important … YOU! You being there to raise them … you being there to spend time with them … you being there to teach them firsthand how to love and respect others, how to reach out in kindness towards those who seem different than them, how to stand up for what they believe in through their acts towards others and their kindnesses extended.
I realize that there are situations where we can’t be at home all the time … where we are so tired from dealing with our daily lives that we don’t have much leftover to give someone else! BUT, the bottom line is that you are responsible for that life you created … it is YOUR responsibility to mold them and shape them into people that will and can be productive parts of society. It is not the teachers’ responsibility to teach your child respect and what is right and wrong. It is not the churches’ responsibility to teach your child about consequences for their actions, about kindness, and the road less traveled. YOU made that individual … it is YOUR responsibility to be their parent and not to indulge them with everything their hearts desire, to placate their bad behavior, to allow them to talk to you in ways that they then talk to others. It starts at home with YOU!
We can’t always determine which road our children will travel even if we are the best parent we can be, even if what we give is only what we have at that station in our life, but at least when we strive to do our best, when they travel a road not in their best interest, you know that you did your best … you know that you taught them the way God meant for us to teach our children … you showed them there are consequences to their actions … you showed them how to reach out to others regardless of their status in life … you showed them how to do acts of kindness for others … you taught them to stand up and be a leader and not a follower … you did YOUR part. Though doing your part does not help you be painless when you watch your child endure something unfair, you still know in the pit of your soul that you did not contribute to what they are going through.
I am so sorry for ranting but I am just so mad. I get mad when I reach for a paper and read about a child being beaten at the hands of bullies. I get mad when I see where a person that is different than we are has been beaten for who they are. I get mad when I see parents suffer because their children have decided to leave this world because of the acts of others. I get mad when I see a person take a life because they are sick and need help. I simply get so mad that I just cry and it breaks my heart so bad! It is not our place to judge and point fingers. It is our place to LOVE and to FORGIVE and to show KINDNESS! If we can’t do those things, then at least just walk away and be quiet. WHEN IS ENOUGH, ENOUGH!!!!
I have a brother that has been incarcerated the majority of his life. He has never been able to overcome his addictions to drugs. He is paying for his mistakes … he is paying for the pain, discomfort, and unfairness that he did to others. He is paying for the lack of responsibility to his children because he was not taught about consequences as a young person. He is paying for not being there for his children even though they don’t see it. He is full of pain, anger, and hurt for the shape he has put his life in. He knows it is his decisions in life that put him on the path he is traveling, but I can’t help but wonder how his life would have been different if he had been taught certain things as a child. BUT, I can honestly say that even in all of this there is one thing that remains in his life … he has never hurt anyone. I know that he hurt others through the acts he committed … I know he has hurt his children by not being there for them … but I mean physically and intentionally. He hurt himself more than anyone as he is missing out on so much in life … his children … his grandchildren … his family! He still knows certain things in his heart because he was taught certain things. I do feel that my parents could have showed him more discipline and less giving, they could have taught him more about respect and facing responsibility, and I have struggled with how they contributed to his life in those ways. However, I have come to realize that they gave their best at the time and that is all they had to give … just as it is with some of you … just as it is with me. I gave my best at those stations in life as I raised my children. I don’t take credit for the station in life they are in … I give all credit to Him who has taught me, my Lord and Savior.
I believe, however, that if you are taught love, shown love, and given love, then it never really leaves you and it guides you. My brother was taught, shown, and given love and it remains with him today. He is judged harshly by many, as are others in my family that have made mistakes. People would rather gossip and ASSUME they know the situations than to reach out in love, not judge, and simply pray.
I remember one day seeing an old friend at Sheetz. I had a brother with me that had made more than his share of mistakes in life, but has since done everything to turn his life around. This person, this friend that I saw, was someone that had traveled roads of drugs, alcohol, and had even been incarcerated for a time. His life was in a good place now and I am VERY HAPPY for that. This person was, at one time, without anything. The day he was released from jail he did not even have someone to pick him up. I asked my mother, who did not know this person AT ALL, if she would go pick him up and take him to my house, and being the kind hearted person she was, she did. Could you imagine asking your mother to do that today … how unsafe that would be? Then, this person lived with my ex-husband and I for quite some time … never paid rent … never wanted to work, but we fed him, put a roof over his head, and basically took care of him until he decided to leave. Well, when I saw this person, he did not even want to talk to me, but I made a point of saying hello. He then felt obligated to bend down at my car and speak. He judged my brother through his actions, and I felt sorry for him. I truly did. I prayed for him in my mind. He thought he was above us … he thought he had every right to judge us. My heart hurt for him as it still does today.
Join me today in praying for others … in asking God to save us before it is too late. God is mad too … His heart is so broken over the mess that His creation has gotten into. I am so afraid of what we are going to cause Him to do … His patience is wearing out! Where will you be when He comes back? Which road will you be left on? Think about it because we are not promised tomorrow.
Pray … it is all I am asking. As you finish reading this, bow your head in prayer and cry out for the parents who are hurting, for the children that feel so unloved and unwanted that they want to die, for the parents that are working so hard just to provide and can’t get any help from others, for the teachers who have so many children in their classroom and are afraid … afraid for their lives and the lives of their students … pray for the churches that are teaching the wrong thing to turn the right way and show what God says is most important … LOVE!!!! It can make all the difference in the world. With much prayer and lots of love, this world can actually turn around! How about it … will you join with me today?