Never underestimate that our God is in control. We do not always see His hand in our lives. We question sometimes whether He is even involved in certain aspects of our daily happenings. We question why things happen as they do. In this instance, to be completely honest, I did not even equate God as a part of my not going to this retreat. If I had brought God into the equation, I would have to say He desired me to go as He has for the past years.
Some good came out of me not attending the retreat, but I still wished I could have gone. Though I so enjoyed spending time with family and friends Saturday afternoon and learning that my niece and her awesome husband will be having a baby boy in June, this alone would not have kept me from traveling to the retreat as I do each year.
This morning, however, made my missing the retreat come into focus. I now had the ability to see God's hand in what occurred, and though I miss my Sisters-in-Christ dearly and cannot wait to see them next year, I am glad God placed me where He did this morning.
Without sharing too much, suffice it to say something pretty spectacular occurred when I went to church this morning. I have been 'church hopping' for a few months now, trying to figure out where God was leading me. I have felt for over a year that God was trying to direct me to travel another path but I remained where I was planted. I was content in the church I had become a part of. The fellowship I shared with people in this small church was precious to me. They are kind and loving individuals. I felt I could not have wanted more. I felt part of a church family as I have never felt before. However, when God is nudging you to move in another direction, you never quite feel at peace in the depths of your soul until you are obedient. Even contemplating leaving my church family was one of the most difficult decisions I have had to make in a very long time. Reluctantly, I left my dear church to seek out God's place for me. Sunday after Sunday I have been trying out different churches, in the hopes I would find where God was leading.
This morning I had decided to try out yet another church. It was one that was brought to my attention over a month or so ago, but for whatever reason, I had resisted going. I knew the individuals who were leading this church. I so enjoyed the time I had with them in a church we attended together years ago, yet I put off trying it out. I decided when I woke this morning that today I would give them a try.
I got ready for church as always. On the way out the door, I grabbed my Bible. Before leaving, I stuck my notebook randomly in my Bible with a pen so I could follow along should they have a study or whatever. You never know what to expect from a church you have never attended.
WOW is all I can say! It was a wow-moment from the onset and right through the very end. The couple I knew were powerful as ever. The praise and worship was off the charts. The preaching was spirit filled and awe-inspiring. Here is the clincher, however ... when it was time to grab my Bible to follow along with the morning study, the scriptures we would be reading from and focusing on were the exact same scriptures where I had 'randomly' shoved my notebook this morning. I was blown away.
As I followed along in reading the scriptures and realized which ones they were, I knew without a doubt God was speaking to me. The verses dealt with exactly the same issues I am dealing with in my life right now ... today! I was left speechless. I cannot tell you for certain at this point exactly what God is saying to me through all of this, but I can tell you with certainty that He is telling me something. I will focus on these verses in the coming days, knowing God has a plan and He is trying to get me to see it.
So, as you can see, though I dearly missed an event that means the world to me, I know now that I was exactly where I was to be this morning. It was no accident. My steps were directed without my even knowing it.
I am looking forward to seeing where God is leading me in all of this. I am excited ... expectant ... and a little fearful. Not fearful in a bad way, but fearful in a good way! What a powerful God we serve!